Wednesday, 29 December 2010

A poem by club member Patsy Keane delivered on our Xmas night out

Psychology for Beginners by Patsy Keane – Midleton A.C.


When I sat down to write this poem
My tortured mind began to roam.
To the bottom of the hill in the Ballycotton 10,
Up and down, and up again.

When I came to Cork from Ballinasloe,
Ballycotton back then was the place to go.
For drink and craic and fine cuisine,
The expansive ocean, picture the scene.

But that’s all gone !


After much persuasion from Mary Jo,
I finally conceded I had to go.
With gear bag packed, I looked the biz,
The lycra shorts and my high viz.

The beginner’s class between six and seven,
Might seem to you to be mana from heaven.
Vincent Connolly, he had the plan,
The ladies all thought he was an army man.

Left, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right.


The competitive instincts are still intact,
Though your body thinks your minds half cracked.
You promise to run times you couldn’t run,
When you were half your age or 21.

You check the list for the last 5K,
And promise that you will beat him or her next day.
Next time around, you slaughter their time,
And wait patiently for them on the winning line.
Only to find out to your dismay,
That him or her didn’t run that day!


If you have an injury or a health concern,
You pay a visit to Neilus Ahearne.
With a rubb a dubb dubb, or a straightened hand,
Neilus will sort out your IT band.

He’ll explain the intricacies of referral pain,
And in no time at all have you back in the game.
Neilus the guru, the medical sage,
Whatever the problem- it’s never age.

His list of clients are a sorry lot,
Whose ailing bodies have gone to pot!


On the roads of East Cork, you’ll meet Kathleen and Donie,
That man’s made of steel, he’s built like a pony.
And Danny; and Breda; and Margaret and Joan,
These are the people who will keep you going.

Last year’s winner, he hailed from Derry,
But we’ve got our own Ann Marie Perry,
Her mantra will put your head in a spin,
You’ll only get out what you put in.


One thing’s for certain as you all know,
I couldn’t mention everyone in my little show.
And so we’ll meet you on March 6th
As we jostle for position on route 66.
And make our way to Ballymaloe gate
And tackle that hill that we all hate.

Happy in the knowledge that we’re nearly home.
As we see in the distance, the lighthouse dome.

© 2010 Patsy Keane